My birthday was earlier this month, and my team in LA sent me a Portillo’s Hotdogs gift pack! It was a thoughtful gift and I was super pleased. And what’s more, it allowed me to enact a plan that had been building in my mind for some time now.
All of you are aware of my love for Chicago hotdogs; I vowed to do this gift justice and follow the cooking and preparation instructions to the letter. I was pleased when the package arrived the day before my birthday, and I immediately opened everything up:
They sent a WHOLE ONION, just rolling around in the cooler pack. A whole bottle of mustard, too – even a little baggie of their specialty dill spears. I ate two of those immediately.
There was also a kickass hat:
But I couldn’t make them right away – I wanted to do it properly, and that meant a weekend, when I could spend some time with it and make the hotdogs with the gravitas befitting them. I put everything back and kept it refrigerated until the next following weekend. But then, I was ready. First I got out the box and the all important hotdog making instructions:
I got everything out of the cooler box and spread it out on the counter, so I could inventory the entire package and ensure I had everything. The only issue was the tomatoes, which had been refrigerated for over a week and were complete garbage. I substituted some alternative tomatoes but everything else was a-ok.
I also did something that, while right now may seem odd, will make more sense later: I weighed myself.
Now it was time to build to hotdogs!! First I got the water heating…
… then I spread out the fixings, and examined the instructions again.
I cut some little tomatoes I had to make up for the garbagy ones. I also prepared the buns for steaming – VERY important part!
I put a little dish of water in the microwave with it, to provide the steam. Water was ready!
I set a timer to ensure they were perfectly done. Almost done!
Ok let’s transfer them over to the counter…
First, dogs in buns:
Neon green relish!
Tomatoes (diced, my only variance):
A shake of season salt – Portillo’s own!
And dill spears to finish:
They. Were. Absolutely. Delicious.
And then, the final touch: I went back in and re-weighed myself:
That’s correct: I had started at 198, ended up at 200. That means that I was, officially, by weight…