Inc Weighs In On How To Stop The Great Resignation Without Paying Employees More

What IS IT that is so terrible about pay raises that employers, faced with an environment in which they are actively losing valuable employees, simply will not pay more money?? Here are Inc’s five grand ideas:

1. “Clarify your values.” Well, geniuses, the first thing you are clarifying is that you are not going to address the desire for more pay. By taking that off the table, you’re clarifying that you value your employees enough to deliver a bunch of lip service to corporate culture (which, frankly, most people couldn’t give two shits about and is often cover code for “We like to discriminate!” and the even more popular “We’re the worst kind of frat house!” Trust me, clarifying your culture is obtuseness at best, a shot in the ass at worst.
2. “Be prepared to change.” Not your pay rates, of course. Maybe your unlimited vacation, which no one actually uses and everyone understands is a scam.
3. “Conduct quarterly check-ins.” Oh great, four reviews a year instead of one. That’ll keep them in their seats.
4. “Use data to your advantage.” Basically, spy on electronic channels and find out who is dissatisfied. Definitely something that employees love, being spied up and their petty bitchings logged and tabulated.
5. “Dive into deeper issues.” Which, in this case, means more meetings in which non-anonymous gripes can be aired. “It’s critical to stress that there won’t be retaliation for honesty, so long as workers express their thoughts in a respectful manner.” Or converesely, if a manager thinks that employee criticism is disrespectful, retaliation is aok.

I do not see the Great Resignation slowing anytime soon with these grand ideas. Pay your people and don’t look for end-arounds.